Entertainment

If Disney Princesses Had Periods

 

So here's the thing 99% of the time, if you are a woman, you will have suffered at the hands of your menstrual cycle. Also, chances are that you grew up idolizing one Disney princess or another. The question is, how would your favorite princesses handle their periods and what would they use?

 

Ariel

This one is a no brainer, of course when the Little Mermaid was weighing her options, she was always going to go for the menstrual sea sponge. These are an all natural alternative to tampons, they last about the same amount of time, around 3-4 hours, except instead of throwing them away, you simply remove, rinse and reuse. They are really simple to use, all you have to do is rinse it, then when it is soft enough, squeeze out any excess water and simply insert.

Remember to use cold water, just please not from the ocean, the last thing you want is salt water and sand in your vagina, trust me

sea sponge tampons

seaspongecompany.com

These range from $15-$30 although I'm sure Ariel would have just harvested her own, I mean she could have asked Flounder to do it, I mean they're close, but are they that close?

 

Cinderella

cinderella with her fairy godmother

Disney

Cinderella is at a loss at what to do, her period has come unexpectedly, which my dear, has happened to the best of us, she hasn't got any more tampons in her royal purse, and she doesn't want to ruin her dress, what can she do? Well, with a wish and a wink, she calls upon her Fairy Godmother to save the day. With a wave of her wand, she bibbity-bobbity-boos some reusable cloth pads.

cloth pad with pumpkin print & cinderella print

Etsy

To prevent this kind of thing happening again, she creates a whole set, in a variety of designs, from pumpkin patterns to designer shoe prints. The pads are soft, comfy and of course breathable, everything a princess could need. For those of us without a Fairy Godmother though, these can cost between $5-$20, but they do have  a lifespan of up to five years, if cared for properly.

 

Tiana

tiana

Disney

Tiana is high on resourcefulness and low on funds. She's also very active, so reusable tampons were always the way to go.

resusable tampon

Etsy

These come in two types, the first in the shape of a tube and can be stuffed with whatever absorbent material is preferable. The second is flat and square(ish) in shape, these are rolled up to make a tamponesque shape and then inserted. Plus, just like disposable tampons, you can get different levels of absorbency for the variety of your flow.

If you're making these yourself, like Tiana or her mother would, then you only have to worry about the cost of materials, otherwise they will cost you about $20 or so.

 

Merida

merida

Disney

Being the brave girl that she is, Merida is always willing to try something new, and I'm sure you remember that she prefers it when there are no strings attached! The Soft Cup is perfect for Merida, even though it looks like a big round condom, it's so useful for an independent woman. It lasts for 12 hours, giving her enough time to go on a hunt or go on an epic adventure without having to worry about changing every 2 hours. 

softcup

softcup.com

The soft cup comes in two varieties, one that can be disposed off after each use, and the other that you clean and throw away at the end of your cycle. These will set a princess back $15-$30.

 

Belle

belle and her father maurice

Disney

When your father is an inventor and you have the greatest library known to man, it's bound to rub off on you a little. Dealing with a beast is bad enough, let alone a beast of a period, so Belle decided to do something about it. Belle gave up on using pads, because Chip kept stealing them to surf down the banister! Belle decided that the bell shaped menstrual cup was definitely the best option for her.

lena menstrual cup

lenacup.com

It lasts up to 12 hours at a time, which means that she doesn't have to worry about leaking when she is lost in a book. Plus with proper care the cup can last up to 10 years, but that does depend on the cup. The prices range from $17-$60 because there really are a lot of choices out there.

 

Mulan

mulan

Disney

When Aunt Flo comes to visit, it's menstrual underwear that Mulan is reaching for, let's face it, Mulan was never going to let a silly thing like her period get in the way of saving China. Period panties were especially useful when she was incognito as Ping. She had a hard enough time concealing her identity without having to worry about being caught disposing or washing tampons or pads. Plus I'm not sure that's quite what Mushu had in mind when he said he'd help her.

thinx period panty styles

shethinx.com

Period panties are snug, absorbent and discreet, and they can be worn all day. These start at $34 per pair.

 

Pocahontas

pocahontas

Disney

This is a controversial one, but Pocahontas was never one to stray away from a challenge, she's also very into harvesting from the earth. Never one to let period cramps, well, cramp her style, Pocahontas is a huge fan of the cannabis tampon, which isn't really a tampon, but more of a vaginal suppository.

 

cannabis tampon

foriapleasure.com

So instead of curling up with Meeko and crying for 16 hours, she pops in one of these, giving her the necessary pain relief, allowing her to cry to the Blue Corn Moon. Whatever that is... Anyway these would cost the average Joe (or Jane) anywhere between $11-$44. So they're not exactly cheap, good thing her father is the chief of the tribe.

 

Do you agree with our hypothetical choices? Have you ever tried any of these products and what are your favorite things about them?

 

2 Comments

2 Comments

  1. Amanda

    25 November, 2016 at 5:08 pm

    Love it and totally can see Belle and Merida using diffrent cups. Belle can wander around if ya haven’t noticed she reads while walking or standing and while wandering reading her book weather in town on her and her dad’s farm or around castle without thinking about it and Merida off on an adventure. The underwear would definelty work for Mulan. What about snowwhite and her first period. I know where Jasmine and Aurora are in there situation could have just about whatever they want.

     
  2. MaridaD

    23 October, 2016 at 2:50 pm

    I knew Belle was a cup-one :’D

     

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