Your Private Parts: A Much Needed Guide To The Female Anatomy


You know what's great about being a guy, you can have hair anywhere on your body without anyone batting an eyelid, and your man parts are all hanging out, ready and available whenever you want! Unfortunately if you're a woman, society expects you to have 20 pounds of hair on your head, but be completely bald from the neck down.

cliff that looks like a vagina

Also, and more importantly, we don't have the same care or knowledge about our genitalia that our male counterparts do. Even in this day and age dick jokes are funny, but crack a joke about your vah-jay-jay and suddenly you're in taboo territory. Plus, when's the last time that you saw accurate graffiti of a vagina on a bathroom stall? Exactly.

It's bad enough that 74 percent of women pay attention to their downstairs, but research from the Center For Sexual Promotion in Indiana University shows that women who do look closely, and know more about their genitals are more comfortable with their own bodies and orgasm more often. If that isn't a reason to learn about your sexual organs, I don't know what is. Ladies, it is time to shake off the shackles and get to know your private parts.


Very Very Vulva

Most of the time, when someone is talking about a vagina, they really mean vulva. It's a common misconception that the vagina is the whole thing, when in fact it is just one of many parts, but we'll get to that later. Go on, grab a mirror, I'll wait... Good. We're going to be working from the outside in. The outer area is the vulva, which is basically the packaging for your privates. The pubic mound that covers the upper part of the vulva is the mons, this is either where you have a luscious lady garden, or you pay someone twice a month to ensure that your terrace gets buffed.


Give Them Lip!

Your outer labia, or labia majora are, or at least were, covered in hair. The inner labia, not so much. If the labia minora are Han Solo, then the labia majora are Chewbacca. The inner labia really vary so much from person to person in size, color and texture. Women are often concerned that their inner labia aren't normal, but there really is no such thing. They can be anywhere from ¾ of an inch to 2 inches long, they come in every color; pink, brown, red, blackish and purple. For some they look like flower petals, others have to deal with a deep sea anemone.

To be honest, labia minora are so unique that if we found a way to scan them, they could easily be used as a creepy alternative to fingerprinting. Although you might think that they don't do much, the labia act as a barrier to bacteria and, thanks to their sebaceous glands, lubricates the area during sexy times. The labia are filled with sensory nerve endings which add some extra stimulation when engaged in some downstairs play time.


Clitoral Confusion

The clitoris continues to be one of life's great mysteries, some men can't seem to find it and women don't know much about it. The top of the labia create a hood for the clitoris, this hood protects this little nub which is only the head of the clitoris. You see, the clitoris is like an iceberg, only a small portion of it is visible.

FUN FACT: the combined internal and the external length of the clitoris can equal that of a penis. The internal part is sort of shaped like a wishbone, the little legs are known as crura and they run all the way to the G Spot area. The clitoris has anywhere between 8000-15,000 nerve endings, not only is it super sensitive, but it is the only organ whose sole purpose is sexual pleasure.


Tinkle Tinkle Little Star

Under the clitoris, if you have remarkably good eyesight, you might be able to see a kind of hood shape. Right below that is an itsy bitsy teeny weeny slit. This my friend, is your urethra. Another thing that both men and women get confused about is the urethra. So many people think that the urethra is actually in the vagina, when technically it's more Vagina adjacent. It's like that bedsit apartment you had when you were 19 over that Chinese Take Out place. It wasn't in the restaurant, it's restaurant adjacent. To be clear, for the people in the cheap seats, you do not pee out of your vagina.


The Tunnel of Love

Finally we reach the vagina, which might not be as sensitive as the clitoris, but the first few inches boasts hundreds of sensitive nerve endings. This is probably where the it's not the size, it's how you use it, idea came from. Vaginas vary in width and length, there is no "typical" vagina, and having lots of sex will not turn your vagina into the Lincoln Tunnel, it's a myth that really needs to get debunked.

The vagina is flexible and stretchy, it stretches to push out babies, then snaps back into shape, it can just feel looser for some women after birth as some of the nerves have been damaged. Plus, if you're really worried about it, you can just do some pelvic floor exercises. It's like using the same muscles that you do to stop yourself from peeing. Squeeze and release over and over for two minutes and you'll be feeling ship shape in no time.


Great Scott, it's the G-Spot

The G-Spot, contrary to popular belief, is not a magical orgasm button. It is about the size of a nickel and many women swear that it makes sexual activities a lot more fun. Others though, really do not enjoy it at all. It's a preference thing really. If you slip a finger (or two) inside your vagina, just behind the mons, you will feel a spongy, bumpy area. This is the droid that you're looking for. The tissue here is thicker than other parts of your lady bits, which means it needs firmer stimulation. No tickles here. This can either lead to intense pleasure, or desperately make you want to pee, like I said before, it's all down to preferences.


Can we Cervix it?

The cervix is where the vagina, like a Summer romance with Julio and this blog post, ends. The good news is, if you happen to have long fingers then you might be able to feel something akin to a dimpled chin or maybe even a nose. It's not a nose, it's your cervix. The cervix is the base of the uterus, it has an itsy bitsy opening than sperm can travel through in order to get to the egg for fertilization. I want to bust another myth before I go. The little, oh so very tiny hole in the cervix is so small that only sperm can pass through, you are not, I repeat you are not, going to get a tampon, a class ring or your bullet vibrator stuck up there, there's just not enough space. Seriously.


I am a firm believer of getting to know your own body and removing the taboo associated with our sexual organs. If there's anything else you want to know, or if you've got a myth that you want to debunk, let me know in the comments down below.


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